It goes on
by Kuroda Miharu
Summary: When life separates people they change and we do not know why. But when they come back together can they still connect or are they forever separated by the past they did not share. ShikaSasu fic with some other parings, OC parings, slight ShikaNeji currently being re-written and updated
1. Prologue

**DISCLAMER: I do not own Naruto **

**So this story has been complete for a while and after a little break I am ready to tackle it again. Some parts were rushed and my writing has improved since 2008 when I started this so here's the first part of the new work.**

**The story will remain much the same but bulked out a bit in ares.**

**Hope you like the improvements :)**

**~Ku**

**[updated 04/09/12]**

**Prologue**

They were only thirteen yet they were being sent out into the world to take the lives of those who threatened to hurt their village. They had to grow up fast and harden themselves from the world they lived.

They knew what it was like to love and be loved, even with a family destroyed he knew that there was someone in the world that could still make him smile and make his heart race.

They had to grow up fast in all respects.

They had been friends for a long time and then they started to learn about each other while sat on the hill, their hill. It started with the slightest of contact between their hands that reminded them that they were not alone in the vast wilderness of the world; there was always someone to ground them to the earth.

Soon they were leaning on one another during their alone time mostly for warmth but also as a sense of security for the one who fell asleep while his companion watched the clouds. Then it happened their first kiss, it was more like a light brush of lips, when the raven haired child last of his clan left one night to go home.

The two teens sat on the hill looking up to the clouds floating above them. The taller of the two resting his head on crossed arms lying in the long grass of their hill while the other used the bicep of one arm to rest against.

It had been a long time since they had been alone together, away from the fan girls and home from a mission. They had to grow up too fast in many respects; they no longer had a childhood because of the job they had taken at such a young age.

The dark-haired genin soon got restless as cloud gazing was not his favourite past time, even if it was with him, they had been lying there for the past hour or so and there was only so much he could take. He rolled on top of the other in order to distract them from the clouds above and bring him back to the present.

He had been nervous all day, not that it showed, knowing what he had to do and had to say…he couldn't find the words that he wanted to use. There were no right words to use this time.

He leant forwards and kissed the one below him lightly on the lips and a pair of brown eyes locked onto his black ones.

The teen looked into the others eyes that had now fully opened from their half dozed state.

"Wait for me?" He whispered against the lips.

"What?" the other teen asked, unsure what response the other wanted.

"Wait for me Shika?" he whispered again, "please."

The other quietly replied, "Always."


	2. Chasing

**[updated 05/09/12]**

**A little sooner than I thought but I hope you like it none the less,**

**Nara Shikamaru P.O.V. - 4 years later, so Shika/Sasu are about 17 (no body swap for Orochimaru)**

* * *

**Chasing**

It didn't take too long to track them down, Orochimaru's subordinates had picked up his annoying travelling habits but when it came down concealing themselves they still needed lessons.

We had found them in a stretch of dense forest on the edge of fire country that boarders with Otogakure; but finding them was only half the problem. Now have to fight our way through his new goons, get to him and bring him home.

"Shikamaru…"

I hear the wine from in front of me, it's Kiba, his shoulders tense as he sits on a branch with Akamaru beside him balancing precariously on the narrow stretch of wood.

"Wait Kiba." I tell him, keeping track of the hyperactive pup was difficult, he never wanted to sit still. The most troublesome thing was keeping keeping three hyperactive members of my team quiet…now there's a challenge…each of them ready to pounce at any given moment.

"Shikamaru, Choji still hasn't got back to us. We have not got time to wait for him. We need to attack now while there is one less of them." said the calm voice of Neji beside me.

I nod removing my gaze temporarily from the troublesome dog-nin to look at the Hyūga, I know he is right but I still do not want to leave my best friend on his own. How troublesome, I really should not be the team leader on this mission but Lady Tsunade wouldn't have it any other way, _troublesome woman_.

"Shika I'm fine…" a voice broke over the radio, "just keep going."

"Hang in the Cho." I responded a small smile on my face; he always knew when I needed him.

"Right," I start, getting everyone's attention, "Neji is right we need to start. Neji you first; find and point out the first for Naruto to take down," I pause and Naruto nods, "then you get the second, understood Neji." He nods to confirm.

"Kiba," I continue, "you are to sniff out the third and take them down while I try to get Sasuke stationary." I look round my make-shift team minus one, "try and get the others as far away as possible from Sasuke, he is strong enough on his own without any back-up."

"Hai!" he replied excited at the prospect.

"Radio silence please, we can't tip them off." I said through the radio just in case Choji was going to contact again. "I will track Sasuke down and try and hold him as long as possible while you guys catch up."

The group nodded and then Neji set out making the call for Naruto to follow, as soon were both out of sight Kiba and Akamaru set of to find their own prey, noses to the ground following some sent or another.

That just left me to seek out Uchiha Sasuke, our main reason behind the mission. The objective: bring him back home to where he belongs in one piece preferably.

As soon as I felt that it was safe I left the tree in search of my quarry, occasionally reaching out in the shadows cast by the forest to sense if there was someone around.

I found him eventually, but before my jutsu got within three metres of him he was off through the trees and the chase was on.

With his chakra infused speed I struggled to keep up, I needed as much chakra as I could hold on to for when it came to holding him still so that it would not easily break. This however also gave me an advantage while running through the trees as he would not be able to pin-point me exactly without the help of my chakra signature.

He finally stopped in a small clearing 10 minutes from where we started, I stayed in the shadows of the trees trying to regain my breath, _I really need to work more then I wouldn't be like this now…troublesome_, I take in a deep breath and look round the tree.

He sat at the base of what looks to be an oak tree with the normal Uchiha I-have-no-care-in-the-world look on his almost feminine features. It was almost as if he had no idea that I was following him, _almost_. I wasn't going to miss-judge him; he is an Uchiha after all.

I feel the presence of another chakra coming towards us but it is not one that I recognise. It doesn't feel as controlled as Neji's; as lazy as Choji's and defiantly not as adventurous nor loud as Naruto's or Kiba's.

I slowly look round the tree again to see a figure land softly on the ground in front of the Uchiha.

The figure, male, was tall and slim wearing in no formal dress of any country I could think of and had no visible hitai-ate to tell me otherwise. He also had a mask covering the bottom half of his face, not that unusual for a ninja, his light brown almost silver looking hair sticking up at odd angles.

_Yet another enemy great_, I watched silently from behind the flora my fingers together trying to come up with another plan now that I was out numbered yet again.

I watched as he walked towards the Uchiha who stood up in greeting. The mysterious man backed him up so that he was leaning against the tree and rested his hand on the bark above the Uchiha's left shoulder.

**Thanks for reading, please leave a review, thanks ~Kuroda Miharu**


	3. the memories

**[updated 06/09/12]**

**Thanks to dimonyo-anghel for the review, I hope that this will start to answer your questions.**

**Uchiha Sasuke P.O.V.**

* * *

**The Memories**

He leans forward his left hand now finding a bit of bark beside my right arm. He then put his head to the side of mine almost resting on my shoulder so he could whisper in my ear.

"You know we have someone watching us don't you." I hardly heard as his nose came into contact with the shell of my ear.

I smirk and give a small nod of my head as he leans back slightly. His grey eyes lock onto my own black ones and I can see the smirk on his face even through the mask.

"I've been looking for you everywhere," he says in just above a whisper so any shinobi close by could have heard, "you and your little posse like to move around a bit don't you?"

I smirk, that infamous Uchiha smirk of ours, "Hn."

His right hand moved from the beside my head to stroke some of my hair out of my face before his cold rough fingers follow my jaw line as he steps forward making the gap between our bodies even smaller than before.

His hand moved from my face to the bridge of his nose where his finger hooked under the dark mask that covered half of his face.

As he brought it down and my right hand went up to cup his face in an almost protective manner for it was in that direction that my pursuer sat. It was something that made him smile every time, he always thanked me for the privacy that I give him with the little gesture.

He brought his soft pink lips down onto mine while I kept hold of his shaven face.

The warm lips moved slowly against my cool rough lips, his having been protected by his mask _I wonder if I should start wearing a mask_ _just to keep my lips as smooth as his_.

My thoughts were soon dragged back from myself wearing a mask when his warm tongue licked across my lips asking for entrance. I willingly parted my lips to let in the muscle.

I feel it travel round my mouth as usual reminding me at how good he truly is at what he does.

I slowly close my eyes tearing my gaze from his and my other hand came up to caress the other side of his face slowly as he pushes our bodies closer together.

He pulls back slightly as the need for oxygen becomes apparent. He smiles at me as our eyes lock again as I pull up his mask.

He sighs softly, "you know I cant move don't you."

I cock my head to the side before looking to his feet, sure enough there is a shadow leading from him to Shikamaru Nara who had, apparently, decided that enough was enough and it was time to attack.

I look over his shoulder and my eyes lock onto his captures and then I feel myself too not being able to move. He is just as clever as I remember; allowing me to know what is going on but not giving me enough time to react.

"We have a clever one ne?" the pale nin before me states.

"Hn." I would have nodded...

"Shame, I wanted to spend more time with you Sasu-chan." He smirks and I can feel my face heat up in an annoyed and embarrassed blush.

Swiftly a piercing whistle shot through the air and I could feel the force of the air on my face. "That doesn't mean that I can't mess with him and make up later though." He leered, I just rolled my eyes in response a pink tinge still staining my cheeks.

There was a yelp from behind my partner and I peered over his shoulder at the sound finding that I had full control of my movement again.

I smirked at him before moving away to make it harder for our enemy to catch us both at the same time, though to me it looks as if he has his hands full at the moment.

My partner turned to see the Nara swamped in the fur, claws and teeth that he liked to call his 'pets' and although they were unusual summons they were definitely not pets.

I look away, clearing my thoughts of any emotion present and pulled out a couple of kunai. I can not afford for all the old memories to prevent me from reaching my goal now even if…_NO_! I can't. I have come too far to go back to square one.

There was no turning back; the Nara had followed me all the way here and I know that he would not give up now, not when he had had me in his grasp.

All the memories have to be pushed away, I can't afford another mistake.


	4. away from him

**[updated 09/09/12]**

**Thanks to dimonyo-anghel and andromeda90 for the reviews, I hope this helps, but Shikamaru's revenge may have to wait (as I don't see Shikamaru as the kind of person to put a mission in jeopardy by trying to get a little revenge on his target.) **

**Thanks for reading – K.M.**

**Disclaimer: still don't own Naruto. **

**N.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**Away from him. **

I can't believe that I didn't see any of this coming, not _him_ and not the attack that caught me off guard. I can't let him get away, not now I have waited too long to let him slip away from me again. I am not giving up like last time.

_I didn't even sense the creatures when their master arrived in the clearing…_

I managed to get a couple of the fox's off me though the biggest, a black one with yellow fangs and gold eyes, was still pinning me down on the muddy forest floor.

"Who are you?" I hear a voice ask me, I look round the animal to see _him_ staring down at me.

It looks kile Sasuke has chosen a stupid partner; he is stood well within range, he has few weapons from the looks of things and I still can not see any evidence of a village's training.

I smirk as I finally get my hands together and catch him with my shadow before turning my anger of the black fox as I try to strangle it with my shadow.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." His calm voice came as he watched the shadows creep up to the fox's neck.

I hear a growl behind me and turn slightly to see another fox, how troublesome I had forgotten about the others, so much for being a genius…_and_ there is too many of them to catch all at once.

I shift and the fox got off me before I started to walk towards my other prey, who in turn walked towards me. The animals weren't as thick as I thought; they know that if they attack me they are attacking their master too.

There is no need to think, I do not need this man alive so I can get rid of him, it would be one less problem for me in the long run.

I come to a halt barely a metre from him with a smirk on my face, I have enough chakra to get rid of him, from what I can feel he has very little or none left. _This was too easy...but I have to get Sasuke away from him no matter what it costs_, _I have him within a minute of death and then I can continue with trying to get the Uchiha._

My shadow reached out for the neck of my prey as I smirk, one of the only ways to kill a man without killing myself at the same time with my shadows. It usually took a lot of chakra but that is only when the other has quite a bit that I have to overcome.

I feel a motion behind me and within a split second there is a body behind me and a cold metal edge against my neck.

"Hurt me and your friend gets hurt too, you of all people should know that Uchiha." I smirk and turn my head slightly to look into the dark eyes behind me.

I feel the blade press in slightly, "Hn, you should know by now, Nara, that I never stick to the rules even if I know them."

The blade presses further in and I look back at my captive, who I have stopped trying to strangle. The metal pierces my skin and as it does there is a puff of smoke where _he_ was stood as I feel a warm trickle down my neck.

"You see Nara, unlike you I know when I am facing a clone or not." He smirks as he too disappears leaving me looking at a log falling to the ground.

_Troublesome_. They have their own fighting style together; this is just a new idea I need to think round, just another game of Shogi. _What am I thinking this is more important than a game of Shogi, this is not something that doesn't matter if I win or not. This is a mission Nara get it into your head!_ I scold myself.

I must win this match; I can't loose the Uchiha now I need to get him back and I can't lose to _him_. I have to get Sasuke back if it is the last thing I do. He needs to come back home; we need him, I need him.

I put my finger tips together and slowly close my eyes, I need to see a floor in their fighting, I need to find that loop hole and plan the next few hundred steps in my mind…


	5. He has no idea

**[updated 09/09/12]**

**Thanks dimonyo-anghel again ^-^**

**Please read and review, thanks - K.M.**

**U.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**He has no idea**

_He's thinking, that could be dangerous_. I need to end this as quickly as possible, my partner can not help me defeat him, he is no shinobi, though I do have his little 'pets' to help me. _Even they have more chakra than he does._

I sigh as I watch the Nara from my hiding place in the trees, once he has a plan there will be little chance of my escape, he isn't just going to give me up like he gave that kunoichi the win in the Chuunin exams.

He is trying to find a floor in my attack, that would be impossible, but our attack has many floors…

I glance over to where my partner is sat with one hand at the ready to pull out the few weapons that he possesses. He is clever though, he knows that drawing them would attract attention to himself in the presence of an enemy nin.

I activate my Sharingan and scan over him, _he has no chakra left in him, no movements left to read_, while I still have most of my chakra, I should be able to take Shikamaru out quickly enough.

The genius below snaps open his eyes, _he is done thinking_.

I have to stop him, this is not the time to go back so I must stay, I glance at the animals that are in the surrounding area and see they are in their own attacking formation waiting for a signal from their master.

I watch my prey as he slowly lifts his head and looks straight at me though the leaves of the tree. _As smart as ever I see_.

"You know Shikamaru," I started as I landed in front of him, hoping to disrupt any plan that he may have thought of by doing what I wouldn't normally do. "There is no way that you can out-think me; you are outnumbered so why don't you just go, I have no intention of hurting you."

"I am not letting you get away that easily again Sasuke, I am here to take you back no matter what the cost is." He replied his defiant eyes digging into my own red ones.

"Then you force me to act Nara, I am not going back." I smirk at my fellow genius, "I am sure that the rest of your group will have been finished by now, you should get back to them before anything else happens to them."

"They can take care of themselves and I am not leaving without you." He deadpanned.

I slip out a kunai from its pouch and hold it horizontal in front of my face, "is that so?"

I was always a step ahead of him in our close combat fight, no movement escaped my eye and he had no openings to get me. All the time my partner watched to make sure that I did not need any back-up or his 'pets' but was ready to send them in at a moments notice.

I pause for a moment hanging from a branch of a tree and look at the Nara, "I see that you have not improved since the Chuunin exams, it seems that your laziness has won out over training. It's a shame really to see that you have not improved at all yet all this time I am sill training and improving every day."

He does not reply but only smirks at me.

I try to move and realise what I have done, he may not have improved but he is still a quick as ever and takes all opportunities given.

I hear a low whistle from the other side of the clearing and sigh, I did not want to resort to that, they would not hold back as much as I would and the Nara hadn't taken the chance while it was still an option.

"They can't attack while I am holding the Uchiha unless you want him dead." The Nara said to my partner in his bored voice.

"Hn," I voice, "who said that he doesn't want me dead?"

His eyes quickly lock onto mine, trying to decipher what I said while the animals hold onto him. I could feel the weight and claws of all the 'pets' pressing against me, _well he seems able to take quite a load without collapsing_, I muse.

The smallest fox, a light brown one with dark eyes was the last to approach the man; it jumped and climbed over a number of its siblings before sitting on top of their preys head.

I felt the grip that the Nara had on me slip and I smirked, so that is what my partner had asked about chakra for, not bad, at least he had the sense to have the animals around as they could do what he could not.

"You see Shikamaru-kun." I said once again standing in front of him while he wore the look of shock on his face, "you have underestimated your opponent and you have lost again by default."

I smirk just for appearance while I sigh on the inside. I take out my chakra infused wire and tie him up to the closest, sturdy, tree and plant a couple of kunai in his clothing to prevent too much movement.

My partner is beside me in a second and looks down at the man tied up, "shame, I thought the guys from your village were a lot tougher than that."

I look at him, "Che; just goes to show you. Nara." I nod at him before running off though the trees, my partner and two of his fox's following close behind.

_I wish that it was not this way, you have no idea how much it hurts._


	6. what he is doing

**[updated 13/09/12]**

**Thanks to dimonyo-anghel and andromeda90 for the reviews ^-^ **

**I know that they are not particularly long chapters but they get slightly longer each time .**

**Thanks for reading – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for the accented word in this chapter)**

**N.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**What he is doing**

I watch as they leave; a number of the fox's disappearing and one staying behind to watch me from a bush nearby.

I hang my head when I can no longer see them, I don't know what I am fighting for now, I have lost him again after I promised I wouldn't. He has become so detached from everything that I don't even know if he is the same person any more.

I feel like crying yet I have no energy to even do that…that fox took it out of me. How ever that guy trained those fox's I would like to know as that was a chakra draining technique. I had not planned for the fox's to be more than a tool for fighting with their strength or a tool for tracking.

_I truly underestimated my opponent, though I know that his partner is nothing special and nothing to worry about, his summons are a different story. _

I sigh and lift my head to look at the clouds forming over the clearing area, though unlike every other day they did not bring calmness to my mind. This time they only clouded my thoughts, not allowing me to see clearly what I should do next.

I try to move but my restraints do not allow for any movement, my captor would not allow it until someone else removed them.

_I hope my team are okay_. I sigh, further wishing that it is one of my team that finds me and not one of _his_ team.

I nod off after a couple of minutes trying to regain my lost energy, what else is there for me to do while I am here?

It was roughly two hours after I was tied up that I was woken by a chakra presence heading my way, by the time I could hear footprints I could recognise three separate signatures. Yet although I was alert there was no way I could defend myself if I needed to.

I hear a bark and before I can smile the white ball of fur jumps at me licking my face and barking excitedly.

"Hey Akamaru!" I sigh unable to push the dog off, "get off me!"

The dog sits next to me as I see Kiba and Neji come through the trees. Both of them look tired and just about ready to collapse from the battles they have just fought. I give them a weak smile before Neji came to free me from the restraints.

"We won Shikamaru, Naruto is with Choji." He states with no emotion in his voice, "took us a while, we are sorry that we couldn't help sooner."

"Don't worry." I voice quietly as I stand and stretch my arms, "Lets get back, there is no way that we can find him now." I sigh turning from my comrades and hanging my head.

"What?!" Kiba shouted, "we cant give up now!"

"We can and we are Kiba, even with you taking on his team members he was not alone and they work well together. Even with all of us we would struggle and I have a gut feeling that you haven't told me what has happened to the other two so it is bad." My 'leader' voice shone through. "We are heading back, we need a bigger team to tackle this and Naruto running tired is not something I wish to experience again."

"He is right," Neji backed me up, "this fight can not be won by us in this state, not yet."

It doesn't take long for us to reach the others, with a still fuming Kiba and soon to be annoyed Naruto.

As I suspected Choji had overdone it again, though he had not used that red pill again. Naruto was, like always, ready for more and not impressed that we were turning back. He refused to believe that we could no beet Sasuke now that his team were injured too. He seemed to forget that the rest of us did not have his stamina.

On the way back I learned that there were not four other members of Sasuke's group like the first time that we went after him and so Kiba had been able to help Choji and the others, though Kiba and Naruto were trying to pass off that they had done all the hard work...again.

I sighed letting them have their banter; I was not in the mood to deal with them, my mind to preoccupied with thoughts of Sasuke, his partner and those confusing words.

I had thought that a second time would work, this team worked well together last time and they have proved again that they work well together, yet even though we are all now Chuunin and Jounin we are still no match for Sasuke and his team. I do not understand why Tsunade-sama chose me again, _man this is troublesome_.

As we move on towards home I feel as though my life is empty, I have failed in getting back the last Uchiha and let down my team mates. I did not want to sign up to this again; he has no idea what he is doing to us and the village

I close my eyes as I walk leaning against Neji as Choji was being held up by Naruto and Kiba. I glance at my support and see his Byakugan is activated but he looks tired. I know that it is my fault that he is like that. He told me numerous times that I needed to move on but I was too stubborn. He wanted to help but I just pushed him away and now he too is hurt.

I feel broken but I look forwards, I am a shinobi and this is what happens. _I am not going to give up, if I am going to succeed in any thing then I am going to have to try harder, do something completely un-Nara like_.


	7. by fighting

**Thanks to dimonyo-anghel and andromeda90 for the reviews, sorry it took a while to update. **

**I think this chapter would be classed as a 'twist in the tale' I hope that you like it.**

**Thanks for reading – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts**

**U.S. P.O.V.**

**By fighting**

It turned dark before we stopped at our camp. We were far enough into the land of sound not to be bothered by the shinobi from Konoha for a while.

I looked towards my partner who had no stood since landing on the ground behind me. He was bowing. I turn away from him, "get up" I growl not in the mood for his formalities.

"I am sorry Uchiha-san for doing what I did." He said yet he took no movement to stand.

"Get up Keiji, now." I ignored what he said; I glared at him when he only raised his head to look at me.

"I should not have done that Uchiha-san, I know he is your love and I should not have done that, I should have waited."

I marched towards him and grabbed him before pulling him up, "you have nothing to be sorry for; you did what you were meant to do." I snarled letting go of him so that he was stood on his own. "Quit apologising."

"Hai Uchiha-san"

At least he had the sense not to push me, the first and last time he did that he was fortunate enough to have Orochimaru save him.

I went to sit at the base of a tree no too far from the fire I had made upon arriving. I knew he was staying until my team had caught up, it would be nothing good if they thought that Keiji had left me and his company was not as annoying as that of my team mates.

I looked up as a fox came into view and walked towards me after being shooed away by her master. It was the young female that he had been sent not long ago by its mother so that he could train it. It was the smallest one of his pack and the one that had defeated Shikamaru.

"Your friend was found and your team are coming, Inali is helping them, they are hurt." She squeaked out not able to make eye contact with me before she bowed and turned to go back to her master.

"The big black one." My partner answered eyes arched in a smile before I could ask a question. "Uchiha-san I must insist that you read the message before they arrive as I have been instructed to make sure that you read it sooner rather than later and if possible take a reply." He continued as he sat by a tree not too far from my own.

_If he needed a quick read and reply then why did he give it to me out there?_

"You should try carrying one for three days straight because you don't know where the recipient is or when you will meet them. I was also unsure if I would be able to give it to you after because we could have been separated by the fight," he supplied before he started to stroke the fox now sat in his lap.

It was bad enough having the message for hardly half a day let alone three. I opened my mouth and pulled out a miniature version of a message scroll. I held it between my palms and released the jutsu.

I looked at the scroll it was from the Hokage.

"No, why now?" I whispered.

"She wants you back as Orochimaru is no longer around and your mission can no longer continue. She is one scary leader and I am glad that that was my first encounter with her."

I ignored him and lightly tugged on the scroll to open it.

'**For the attention of: **Uchiha Sasuke

It is time Sasuke, I need that report and we need you back. I tried to keep the last squad from leaving but your team mate would not allow for more time as they knew where you were. Your mission is over; send your messenger so that I know roughly when you will be getting back. Oh and please do not let your new team mates come as they will have to be killed.

Godaime Hokage'

It was short and sealed with the stamp of the fire nation and the village hidden in the leaves. I held the scroll vertically in my right hand as I watched it burn so that no one else would see my message.

"I'm not going back yet, not this soon after a team failed to bring me back. I know from the look in his eyes that he knew nothing about the plan for me to go back." I said my voice rising in volume as I continued, "I can't go back and face him, my comrades or the other villagers yet."

"By calling them your comrades I can tell that you are more than ready, I know that you have been ready for a long time. I could tell every time I met with you."

"It is not. Your. Decision!" I shouted; I needed this anger to be released, it was bad enough that I had to fight Shikamaru today never mind having a war of words with my messenger. Unfortunately I had picked the wrong person to release my anger on.

"Calm down!" he shouted back matching my tone of voice and volume, "it is not for you to fight with me over! I am just the messenger!"

"Tell them not yet then! I am not going anywhere and you can't make me!" I snapped.

"Uchiha Sasuke this is not something that you can say no to!" he retorted, "you have to go; I will see you in under a week Sasuke." He spat as he went back through the trees as the rest of my team showed up.

I let out a low growl as they sat to rest and the black fox disappeared. _Great just what I needed, to annoy the messenger, I am a shinobi and as such I should be doing my mission as told._

"Oh was that a lovers tiff?" asked Suigetsu raising an eyebrow as he half collapsed next to a tree.

"Does this mean that I can have you now?" added Karin with a grin on her face.

I chose to ignore them and go for a walk, "stay here, I will be back later."


	8. To hurt my heart

**Thanks to dimonyo-anghel and andromeda90 for the reviews, I hope that you like this chapter, a little hint at another pairing.**

**Again another twist; kind of anyway. The end of this particular chapter will not continued in this fic however I will write an additional fic to continue if you would like, once you read it you will understand.**

**I hope to have the next chapter up by the end of the week.**

**Thanks for reading – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts**

**N.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**To hurt my heart**

I sighed as I captured Neji's king for the second time this afternoon.

We had been granted a week off after the mission as the enemy had been exceptionally quiet for the past few months due to there being more agreements made between countries. It was better for shinobi this way too as it meant that we had a natural recovery rate and not a chakra induced one.

I yawned; because of this extra time off I felt lazier than ever and had already given up on doing something un-Nara like due to the effort that would involve. I just need to out think Sasuke; something I can work on without moving.

"Thanks for the game." I hear Neji say and I look back over to him, "you were not thinking of the game; I wish that you were though." He continued.

I bow my head unable to form any words that would fit his unvoiced question.

"Shikamaru, please."

I slowly stand from my position behind the board and make my way over to the cream sofa on the opposite side of the room and sat down before he took the unspoken invitation to join me.

- -- -- -- -

The doorbell rang though the house and stirred me out of my slumber. I slowly sat up and yawned before rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I eye the clock on my bedside table and see that it is only eight o'clock.

I heard someone downstairs go to the door, most likely my mother, as I slumped back down to try and get some more sleep.

"Nara Shikamaru! Get your ass down here!"

Never mind.

I drag my heavy feet out of bed and slipped on an old t-shirt that fell just beyond the hem of my lounge pants. _Have I really not grown that much?_

I traipsed down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen where the voice of my mother had radiated from.

I entered the kitchen to find my mother sat at the table with a young lady who looked to be a kunoichi and my father at the sink washing his dishes, _has mum got him wrapped round her little finger or what?_

"Shikamaru-san." The young lady said giving me a slight bow of her head.

"There is no need for that dear." My mother said smiling at the formalities, "it is about time Shikamaru, what took you so long?" she asked looking at me with a scowl on her face, "and what is that on your neck?"

The young lady next to her looked at my neck too after my mother mentioned it and blushed lightly before turning her head away.

"I was down in less than a minute since you called." I deadpanned and rolled my eyes before becoming self conscious of my neck when my dad started to stare at it too, "I have no idea what is on my neck." I added not wishing to have a brush with my mother's anger for not answering her question.

"Is that a hickey?" my dad piped up a moment after taking his seat next to his wife.

_What?! No it can't be, can it?_

I casually go over to the mirror hanging on the wall to investigate what everyone is going on about, sure enough I can see a mark on my neck as I approach the mirror. As I get closer I can clearly see that it is a bruise and not just a normal one ether.

I sigh, _perfect just what I need, my mother asking more questions_, and sit at the table opposite from the guest.

"Well…" my dad starts; I know where that train of though was going.

"Never mind that now; he has a mission that we need to inform him about." My mother cut him off.

"What? I was granted a week off, it has barely been three days." I complain as I pull the plate of 'breakfast stuff' towards me and start eating it without looking, just like every morning so I have no idea what I am eating.

"This is not a mission form the Hokage, it is from me." She replied.

I nod; it is too troublesome to argue over a mission with my mother, I know I would never win.

"I need you to take Kuroda-chan round the village so that she can drop off her letters." She continued assuming that I was listening, "she is the daughter of an old friend of mine and is new to the village. I would take her myself but I have a mission of my own today and your father," she gave him a glance, "is still out of it from last night with the boys and probably can't remember his way around the village at this moment never mind taking someone else around."

I shrug as I push the now nearly finished plate of food back to the middle of the table and look at 'Kuroda-chan'. Her dark brown/red hear is nothing out of place, neither are her clothes of simple grey scale and the black cloth that covers the bottom part of her face is not something unusual in a village full of ninja. Her eyes are not shockingly different ether though that is probably because I am used to the Hyuuga eyes with no visible pupil, even if hers are darker.

"I will be back down in a moment Kuroda-sama." I said standing to go and get changed.

"Ku is fine Shikamaru-san, I will wait here then."

"Shikamaru." I reply before heading back up to my room.

I get dressed into my Chuunin clothing, _great a mission that I am no being paid for and a day of people asking if she is my girlfriend and if she was the one who gave me the hickey. _My mind went back to the memory of Naruto believing that I was dating Temari, I shudder, I still hadn't decided who was worse out of her and my mother.

I sigh as I check myself in the mirror, _at least you can't see it too well, he is still going to get a major ass kicking though._

I head back down to take 'Ku' round the village.


	9. is unforgivable

****

**Here is the next chapter! I will be away for a week or so, so I will not be able to update for a while.**

**I will be posting an extra fic soon where the last chapter left off. Hope that you like this. **

**Thanks for reading – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**U.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**Is unforgivable**

I look up at the main gate into Konohagakure and sigh.

Okay so I was a few of months overdue (okay so try five and you are about there), but I am Uchiha Sasuke so they would wait for me. It had taken almost all of that time to get rid of anyone who was likely to follow me here; either through my Sharingan to get rid of their memories or though physical death.

I look up to the guard tower and see some faces that I have never seen before there along with a couple that I had. I continue at my pace towards the gate where they are waiting for me, a number of ANBU stood in the shadows of the trees along the edge of the path that I was walking.

"Uchiha Sasuke you are under arrest for treason to Konohagakure and a breach of the contract signed by you as a shinobi of the village." A hawk masked ANBU stated behind me as they placed a temporary seal on me to prevent extensive chakra flow.

I was then escorted through the village, my former sensei behind me and a number of Jounin and ANBU nearby.

It is three in the morning so there are no civilians out and few shinobi other than the ones surrounding me. I am glad that a certain blonde dobe is not around because I know he would try to get to me though all of the guys. Same goes for my 'fan girls' though I think 'stalkers' is more appropriate.

I reach the Hokage tower and I am escorted inside and lead to the Hokage's office where I am left with Kakashi and a dozen ANBU in the presence of Tsunade.

"ANBU dismissed." Her voice clearly screams tiredness but still withholds authority.

"But Hokage-sama, he…" A hound ANBU was cut off by his leader with the wave of her hand.

"Hatake-san and I can keep hold of him until our third member arrives. You are no longer needed, go and get some rest, all of you."

"Yes my lady."

I am left in the room with two people that I really do not want to be with. I let out a sigh and slump my shoulders, this is going to be a long night.

"Hand me your report Sasuke, I will read it while we wait."

I take out three scrolls from my pouch and throw them onto the desk that she is sat behind, "who are we waiting for?" I ask intrigued as to what is going to happen next.

"Who do you think?"

"If I knew then I wouldn't have asked." I deadpanned.

"Not changed a bit Sasuke-kun I see." Kakashi imputed; his nose in that infernal book of his.

"Nether have you Kakashi-_sensei_." I mock.

A deafening silence surrounds us as the Hokage takes in the information I had gathered and my former sensei is taking in whatever smut that book offers him.

My mind wanders as to who it is that we are waiting for. It could be any number of people; an interrogation expert, a psyche-nin, medical-nin or even one of my former team-mates. I just hope they don't bring _him_ here, it would be too much to deal with after a day of travel and what is sure to be an early morning quiz on what I have been up to.

It was almost an hour and a half before there was any sign of the other person. There was a tapping on the window behind the left shoulder of the Hokage.

The leader of the village hidden in the leaves looked over to the silver-haired nin to my right who seemed to get the message though the pages of his book and went over to open the window, _and I thought he was lazy! Who put her in charge?_

He opened it and was taken outside only to come back in with an ANBU over his shoulders and a kunoichi behind him.

"Sorry I am late Hokage-sama, my housemate got in the way and I had to deal with the ANBU before I came in." the kunoichi said slowly as she bowed towards Tsunade.

"And here I was thinking that Kakashi had started to rub off on you." She smirked and looked at the hound masked ANBU now lying on the floor. "Where was he?"

"Just opposite; keeping an eye on your office and seeing what was going on."

"How did you take him out?" asked Kakashi, as though he could read my thoughts, "I mean you aren't even ranked in the village and if you were you would be a mid-level Chuunin at best."

"Meh, sometimes your weak-points can be used to your best advantage." She smiled her eyes arching in amusement, "I do not have enough chakra to cause concern to the ANBU officer as I approached him."

"Hm, I think I need to review the training that the ANBU get if they can be taken out by someone like you, no offence of cause."

"None taken, I must say I was surprised myself but I didn't think that you would want him watching this conversation."

The Hokage smiled at the kunoichi and then looked towards Kakashi, "just deposit him outside for now, I will deal with him later."

My old sensei nodded and went to get rid of the knocked out ANBU as I turn my attention to the person who we had been waiting for.

I smirk towards the young woman, "So you were the one we were waiting for?"

She rubbed the back of her neck with her eyes arched, "nice to see you again Sasuke-san."

The Hokage smiled and motioned for the three of us to sit so that she could explain the situation now that I was back in the village.

I knew that it would be difficult to come back and be accepted because everyone believed that I was a traitor to the village and they all knew that I was now extremely powerful, even I couldn't deny that training with Orochimaru had not changed they way I am or not given me more power than I could have dreamt of.


	10. but it has happened,

**Sorry it took so long to update, I was is a foul mood when I got back and did not want to rush the chapter.**

**Please leave a review,**

**Thanks for reading – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**N.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**But it has happened,**

I looked round my room; it was still sparsely furnished even though we had moved in a couple of months ago. To start with I didn't think that it would be a good idea but my mother decided for me that I would pay a third towards the house I was now resting in.

It wasn't a big house, a small kitchen and living room on the bottom floor with a small yard out the back and a bathroom with three bedrooms on the top floor. Each of the bedrooms are about the same size with just enough room for a bed and wardrobe.

To be honest I am glad that my mother pushed me into this, the house was closer to work for me and I no longer had my mother's tyrannical presence looming over me every second I am in the house.

I rolled onto my side to look out the window and towards the stars; my housemate had been out for almost two hours. I had a bad feeling about her disappearance she was odd enough at the best of times without going out of the house at weird hours of the night.

It wasn't as if she was a high level shinobi who had to go out on missions for the village whenever they needed her.

This was the only downside to sharing a house with her, between her behaviour, family and 'pet' she was quite scary and weird. She did however make a nice change from my mother and I am glad that we are friends.

I sat up as I heard the front door open and close with an audible click of the lock. I sighed, _at least she is back, I hope that her 'walk' helped_, I rolled my eyes before heading downstairs.

I came face to face with her just over half way down the stair case, her eyes arched in a smile.

"I was just coming to get you so that I could introduce you to our new tenant, courtesy of Tsunade-sama." She pivots on the stair and goes back down them.

I raised an eyebrow and follow her a few paces behind as she made her way into the living room.

I turned into the room and stopped at the doorframe, in the room stood the man that I could not stop thinking about since the day that he ran away. The man who had taken my heart, broken it and rubbed it in my face but it still belonged to him.

"He and his boyfriend are not welcome in this house." I state before turning to leave, however my actions were prohibited as a hand wrapped round my wrist and pulled me into the room.

"Shikamaru! You can't cast out him just because of his sexuality, if we did that you would not be living here ether!"

I growled; was she being this thick on purpose?

"You can't send him out anyway he is under house arrest, he is our mission, just in case I have to be sent out." She added ignoring the frustrated sounds coming from me.

"I will ask for him to be transferred later today then, he is not welcome here." I state, not daring to look at him.

"Nara-san, there is nothing we can do, Tsunade-sama will not change this arrangement." She stated, she looked tired from being out and no doubt talking to our Hokage about this for the past few hours.

"Don't make me pull the owner of this house on you, you know I will." She said, her temper flaring. "Its not like you don't know him, he was in your set of rookie nine. Plus we can't let anyone know he is here for a little while and in Lady Tsunade's words 'it would be too troublesome for him to say anything and you have no one to say it too so long as Naruto is out of town at the moment' we are a team on this and I am team leader." She paused taking a deep breath.

I know it is not wise to annoy a woman when they are tired, even more so when they are your housemate. _This is why I prefer men, they are less troublesome._

"Uchiha-san, I will show you to your room." He moved to follow her out the door.

I could feel them both looking at me as I sat on the sofa but I did not raise my head to look back at them. Once they had left me alone my head found my hands, _I can't believe that he has been given to me to look after_.

I hear the bottom step creak as they go up and their footsteps lead to the back of the house where the spare room is waiting. It isn't long before I hear one set of footsteps come back down the stairs.

"Shikamaru, he will be here for at least 6 months but it is uncertain as we have to monitor his behaviour." My house mate said after returning from upstairs.

"You knew didn't you." I start, looking up to see her reaction, "you knew that we would have this mission; that is why you wanted a house with three rooms! Man I feel so stupid!"

She looks shocked as my voice raises and her hands clamp around her message bag. Her eyes look into mine and harden. She knows what duty is and is not going to give up one of the only missions she has ever received from the Hokage that is not a messaging job.

"How would I have known?" she asks, her voice calm, "I thought having a spare room would have been useful and it turns out that it is!"

"Then why is it I am finding that hard to believe?"

I stand and brush past her, sometimes I wish that I had just stayed at home and lived with my mothers nagging than put money towards this place.

I feel her hand on my arm again, she turns me towards herself and pushed two scrolls into my other hand, "one is from Kakashi who came by with us and the other is from Neji I think, looks like his handwriting."

I look down at the scrolls, "why?"

"So we can get in and out of the house." she smiled, "and I have no idea what Neji wants with you, I can only guess." She added cheekily.

I can feel my face heat up at the implications of her words; I open my mouth to retort but she beets me to it.

"I am sorry Shikamaru-san, for everything this has caused and will cause." She bows before leaving me stood halfway to the door.

I look at the scrolls in my hand, _Kakashi's will be information that I need in the morning but Neji's; it could be anything_.


	11. I can’t take it back

**Sorry for the long wait between chapters, I have been struggling to find the time. I hope you enjoy this.**

**Special thanks to dimonyo-anghel and SeptemberStorm who reviewed and kept me writing.**

**Thanks for reading – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**U.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**I can't take it back.**

I closed my eyes as the first rays of a bright new day started to show through the small gap between the curtains covering the window.

My head was spinning from all the information that we had covered over the last few hours of the early morning. I still could not believe that I had to live with Shikamaru for the next however long the Hokage felt that it would be good for me to be under house arrest.

I needed to get some rest, no matter what people were told the information that I was back in the village would soon be filtered around and the 'fan girls' would be back. Then the blonde dobe would be back onto me trying to recreate the bonds that he undoubtedly feels are broken.

I rolled over to face away from the window to try and get some shut eye. I knew what my next confrontation with Shikamaru would bring and I wanted to have some rest between now and then. It would be no good trying to fight on tired logic against another genius.

As I started to slip away from the world for a little peace I heard the other people in the house starting to move round although they had only gone to their rooms little more than an hour ago.

It was a soft tapping that had sparked the reaction of a couple of kunai being planted into the door.

"Is it any wonder that I didn't open the door to start with?" a female voice asked as the door opened, "I think for now I will have to take your weapons off you, you are safe here Uchiha-san and you are under house arrest." The voice continued.

I slowly opened my eyes to allow them to adjust to the light coming in form the outside; I scanned the room and found the source of the voice standing by the door with two kunai in her hand.

"Gomen-nasai Ku-chan." I mumble as I sit up.

"Don't worry about it, Shikamaru has gone out on a mission so it will be just the two of us with Otou-san for the next couple of weeks or so." Her eyes arched in a smile. "I came to see if there was anything that you wanted from the bakery or anywhere else for that matter, Yoshino-Nara is going to get some stuff for me."

"no, thank you. I will be down soon though to go through what I can do while I am stuck in here." I turn my head away from her.

"Uchiha-san, you know there is nothing we can do about this situation. I don't like it as much as you don't." she sighed and headed out of the room after a moment of silence between us.

I stand and make myself presentable, even though my clothes were slightly creased from sleeping in them, _maybe I do need something from Konoha shopping district_. I sigh to myself before heading down to the kitchen to get something to eat having not eaten since 9 pm the night before I walked back into Konoha.

I see one of my hosts stilling at the table writing a list on a piece of paper, her writing small and neat, just the way I remembered it from our first meeting.

"What size clothing would you like?" she asked as I stepped towards the fridge.

My pace faltered, _it seems that she has thought of everything, even though I did not when she asked me before_, I look at her to see her waiting for a reply.

"I mean I guessed about Shikamaru-san's size but then again some people prefer wearing different sizes and considering the shirt that you are wearing I wasn't sure if you would want a bigger size." She imputed after she still got no response from me.

"Your first guess will be fine I am sure, thank you." I nod before opening the black fridge door and closing it again before going to look round the other cupboards to get my bearings.

"Uchiha-san, when you have finished exploring I will meet you in the garden to talk about what you mentioned before if you like." She stated as she folded up the paper and stood from her seat.

I kept going through the cupboards to know where all the different things I might need were and got something to eat on the way round before heading into the living room where there was very little to look at due to it being sparsely furnished. There was however a Shogi set that I would dig out for use due to there being little else to do in the house.

I stepped back though the hall way and made my way to the back door; stopping to look in the closet under the stairs and finding a stash of weapons and three hooks one, two with ninja tags on and one with a headband tied to it.

_I wonder if I will get my headband back, or if I am allowed to become a ninja of the village again. Tsunade said that she would tell everyone that I was on a mission but there will be those who don't believe her…_

I found myself in the back garden and saw that there was a seal around it and the house as precautions and to reassure the people nearby.

I headed towards the shade of a big oak tree where Ku-chan sat with a bundle of gold fur in her lap.

"I see that you still can not get away from them then." I comment as I sit opposite her.

She raised her head, slight shock evident in her eyes as to my approach; "you know I can not get rid of them." she smiled as the bundle of fur woke and looked at her.

"Why did Shikamaru not want to talk to me?" I asked out of curiosity when the little fox had moved to chase a butterfly in the garden.

"Why do you think Uchiha-san?"

I looked at her confused, _why does she have to answer a question with another question?_

"You are a genius Uchiha-san yet you can not see what has happened can you?" I shook my head and waited for her to continue.

"You have a hard task ahead of you, you have to try and take everything back to a point before you left. You see, Shikamaru-san told me about a boy now man who he loved years ago and who he made a promise to, however not long ago he found out that that person had not kept the same promise for him. He has been torn up inside because of what that man has done. He is no longer able to trust that man no matter what his feelings are for him. Another friend of Shikamaru-san's has tried to help him but was pushed away until only a week or so ago when Shikamaru-san let him get closer because he no longer had a promise to keep."

I looked into her eyes, they were blank of all emotion yet I could see the hurt of the man that she was talking about in them.

"He asked me not to tell you Uchiha-san but you needed to know before you tried to start something with him again. You need to think about the promise that he made for you." She paused and stood, "you broke his heart."


	12. It will never go back

**Sorry it took so long to update I have been busy and I couldn't get this chapter quite right, this is a kinda break in the story just as the last ones will be less light-hearted. Sorry that it is quite short (but you are getting about 400 more words that I had put originally in the fic!)**

**Thanks again to dimonyo-anghel for the review**

**Please leave a review and vote on my poll,**

**Thanks for reading – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**N.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**It will never go back**

The mission was a piece of cake, quite literally the hidden mist had decided that they would send cake to their enemies, who in turn did not eat it as they believed it to be poisoned with something made by the hidden mist that they could not detect.

From there they had sent their own cake back with poison, the problem was that the ones that were not eaten were thrown away and got into the hands of civilians who had been mysteriously dieing for a couple of weeks.

To be honest it was just telling the poorer citizens that not everything they find they should eat, I was glad that Choji was not with me however because there was still plenty of cake around and no matter what I said he would eat it (though I have my reasons to believe that he could stomach the poison.)

It had been a long day as we started to travel back home.

I sighed as I looked over Ino and Sakura sleeping peacefully next to each other; the only true peace I had had all day.

They were sent with me to help anyone who was ill in the villages that we had to check out while I was working out why and who was sending the cake.

It hadn't been too strenuous working that out until another batch of cake arrived at a village being delivered by other villagers from the mist and one or two shinobi mingled with them to pass the desert on.

After a little interrogation, with help from the girls,_ mental note: stay on their good side_, we found that it was the mist sending the confectionary to the hidden rain and stone, but they were also sending it to the small non-ninja communities.

They had been using the hidden villages as cover so they could wipe out the civilians and decrease the number in that land so the hidden villages had less reason to have so many shinobi.

With the cut off of the supply of the cake done we were ahead of schedule and taking our time to get back to the village so that Ino and Sakura could replenish some of the chakra that they used in the healing that they did.

I shifted my weight on the tree branch and looked up through the canopy to the dark night sky and stars.

It was nice to be out and about again after taking over a pre-Genin class at the academy on a part-time basis, they were a handful and I have no idea what possessed the Godaime to give me a class to teach, even if it is only a few who were deemed intelligent enough to be tested for their IQ and build upon it.

As there were no clouds in the sky tonight, again, my mind wanders into dark and dangerous territories. There is no stopping it, I hate thinking about things all the time, yet it is something I would miss if ever a time came without it.

_Why does everything have to be so complicated?_ Throughout the mission I had not been able to take my mind completely off the situation I had left at home with Sasuke back. With nothing to distract my thoughts from the situation too many minutes of my life had been wasted with the thought process.

_I don't know if I will be able to have Sasuke in the house with me and Ku there but what about when she is on another mission._

I bow my head and bring my knees to my chest, the branch shakes and sends a couple of leaves to the ground below.

_Maybe I could ask Kakashi and Iruka to help, or see if I can have Neji in on the loop…Neji…damn it, more complications._

I lean back against the rough bark of the tree and close my eyes. _Concentrate on breathing Shika, in and out, in and out._

There is no time for a shinobi to take time out on a mission to think about things outside the bubble that a mission is, it would be suicide to do so yet here I am breaking the rules. I know some would say that I was not one to follow the rules but if you looked into what I do then you would see that those rules are never broken.

There is no time for a shinobi to trust ether, _looks like I have been breaking more rules than I thought_, my mind flashed back to the day that we were sent to rescue Sasuke for the second time. There is no way that I can go back to trusting him how I used to I will just have to put up with him.

I cant let him back in just like that because he wants it, I cant trust like when I was younger, I know too much to be able to do something like that. _I will just have to integrate him back into my life slowly but that trust…that bond of trust is gone._


	13. to the way it was,

**Sorry.**

**I hope to update again soon, **

**Thanks for reading – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**U.S. P.O.V.**

**

* * *

**

**To the way it was,**

_When you get to a point in life when you have waited too long for something or someone you know and you also know that sometimes you may have just waited too long_. I sighed as I read the note from Kakashi again, its not like I didn't want to talk to him but I just could not get the words out. I folded the note and put it back into my pocket.

"Shika…"

The man in question continued his journey up the stairs as if I had not called his name, even when I ended up at the top of the staircase before he did he did not stop or even pause to acknowledge that I was there.

"Please Shika; we can't just skip round each other for however long I am here!" I exclaimed frustrated, I can't live like this anymore while his is in front of me.

"I can try" was the only reply I got before the brunette walked through the doorway into his bedroom.

I sighed and dragged a slightly shaking hand through my hair, _when had it got to the point that he could no longer trust me?_

_FB_

"_You broke his heart." _

_/FB_

_ __ ___ __ _

I sat at the table in the kitchen, a cup of cold tea before me, yet another two weeks had passed and he was still ignoring me.

The stair squeaked under the weight of someone coming down them, I looked up as the person stopped in the kitchen doorway.

There he stood and not far behind him was that little gold furred, black socked fox. I knew that its owner was out already this morning but it usually sat by itself or went into the garden and waited for her to get back.

I got up and brushed past him, "what's the point of talking under duress?" I mutter making my way towards the stairs.

"Uchiha," he said stopping me in my tracks, "we have things to clear up under pressure or not." His voice was calm but distant from how it is when he used to talk to me or when he talks to Kuroda-chan.

I turned to look at the shadow manipulator sure that had I looked in a mirror at that point I would have seen hope in my normally emotionless eyes.

I followed him into the living area where he sat on the edge of the sofa rigidly, the little fox at his feet, I decided to sit on the floor opposite him under the window so that he would stay and talk.

"Uchiha, I don't know what you know, but I do know that she told you about what happened even after me asking her to not tell you." He paused and sighed, "There is nothing that can take away from what has happened in the past and we all have to live like that as shinobi." His eyes had yet to settle on anything in the room or glanced over me, "I cant hold a grudge against you, holding a grudge is not part of being a shinobi but at the same time there are things in the past that affect the present and the future. The past is staying where it is, in the past, this includes you."

I felt the small smile on my face drop and my heart fall to the bottom of my feet leaving me feeling empty.

"Shika…"

"Uchiha, it is too late. Our past dictates our future; you only have yourself to ask as to why we are in this future and not in another where things could have been different."

I looked at him as his eyes met mine. I couldn't read him like I could years ago, even in the forest not long ago I could read him clearly. _When did he suddenly put a wall up?_

"Shika, I am not asking you to drop any grudge, please just let me be a part of now let me be your friend," I stood looking away from him, "I know that your trust in me has probably all but vanished yet it is not only your most people in this village feel that I have berated them."

She snorted lightly shaking his head.

"Even the dobe has seen me now and has let me build a friendship back up with him slowly as I can't see him as freely as I would like."

I walk to the door and stop with my hand on the frame; I can't look at him again now I know that there are too many emotions out now.

"I cant go back and turn back time, I want to tell you everything but there is no clearance for anyone other than the three and myself who already know; you must understand Shika that no matter how much I want you to know I cant tell you." I felt a tear slip from between my eye lids, _his trust and love has truly gone now_.

"I can be trusted Shika, I never take back a promise, I just sometimes have to delay acting upon it."

I walk away and feel my heart tear up again like it did years ago when I first asked him to wait for me only this time I haven't got the prospect of going back to him and for him to fix it for me.


	14. but I can try

**Thanks for over 1000 reads!**

**Please leave a review and put an answer on my poll thanks,**

**Thanks for reading – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**N.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**But I can try**

_Why is it that he sounded so broken? Why do I get the feeling that it was me even though I promised years ago that I would not hurt him?_

_Why is it that I do not believe that I don't want anything to do with you Sasuke? I know it is me that is causing you to hurt right now._

I let out a frustrated sigh as I leaned into the soft cushion of the sofa the little fox still at my feet watching me with big attentive eyes.

"Go outside" I mumble, having had enough of its eyes reflecting my sorry existence in them. The little thing seemed to understand as it walked out of the room and I heard the quiet squeak of the cat-flap we had installed when the little thing had arrived.

My heart and my head are screaming at me; usually my heart takes very little action to control my life and my head is too busy coming up with strategies to actually let me thing about anything else that may be going on in my life.

"I need to get out of this house," I sat up looking out of the window to see some light grey clouds pass overhead, "I need to talk to someone I trust."

I stood and walked to the front door, grabbing a packet of cigarettes on my way past and putting them into my coat pocket. With my hand turning the door handle I shouted up into the house, "Going out, Kakashi outside." Allowing my current problem to know what was going on.

I stretched my back as I walked out of the seal surrounding the house and looked for the infamous copy-nin, who as always had his nose stuck in that bight orange book.

I glanced at my sempai whom I had come to trust and allow to be a background part of my life over the past few months. His eye creased and he looked like he was smiling at what ever he was reading behind the cover before giving a small jerk of his head, indicating that he understood that I was leaving.

I walked past the man and started my slow journey to go and see someone that I could always turn to for advice no matter how messed up my head was he could always allow me to understand.

_Asuma-sensei I need your help._

_ __ ___ __ _

By the time I got back home, _funny that it doest feel like home with him here now_, it had been raining hard for the last three and a half hours and I was drenched from standing at his tomb stone.

The cardboard packet was no longer any good ether though it now no longer held any cigarettes anyway. I noticed that the copy-nin was no longer about meaning only one thing, she was home.

Sometimes she really does get on my nerves and I still think that she had planned the whole of Sasuke staying with us before she arrived in the village however she was also a source of information and help.

Nine-chan (1) will also be able to keep him away from me as I don't feel like I have to make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid like when there is just the two of us in the house.

I unlocked the door and stepped in only to be faced with a seething Nine, it seemed that maybe today was not the day to ask for her advice.

"Hey?" I said taking off my boots and jacket so they could dry off.

"Hey yourself! What have you done?" she asked her voice getting slightly louder with every word.

I shrugged, _best not to test her too much_; I could also feel Kakashi's presence now that I was within the house.

"What did you say to him? We can have him on a depression spiral while he is under our protection we don't know if it could make him snap."

"What are you talking about?" I asked although in the back of my mind I already knew what was coming.

She huffed and motioned for me to follow her up the stairs and towards are 'guests' room. As soon as the door opened I knew something was wrong, there were scorch marks on the walls, dints from fists and Chidori's but worst of all there was also blood smattered on the cream walls.

_Why didn't I just let him back into my life? This time I will allow him to try again._

_

* * *

_

(1) Ku is a form of saying nine in Japanese and has become a nickname


	15. because

**Sorry for the long wait, longest chapter so far, you deserve something longer after waiting so long…**

**I hope to update again soon, for the next chapter look at chapter 8 (To hurt my heart) to have a clue as to where it is going.**

**There will be an extra chapter up soon to explain a few things brought up in this chapter.**

**Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**U.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**Because**

I could feel a steady stream of chakra being pushed into my body as I slowly opened my eyes allowing them to adjust to the light.

When my vision focused I could see the Godaime's eyes looking into my own.

"It's about time brat," she said straightening up, "what did you do to yourself? You chakra pathways were almost shredded, I had to get a Hyuuga to look just to make sure that I wouldn't damage you further." She became slightly irritated as she scanned over me again with her trained eyes.

I looked round the small white room to see her assistant and a Hyuuga, _is that Neji? _

Kakashi seemed to appear when I looked again with an angry Kuroda at his side.

"I need sake," snapped the Hokage making me again look towards her as she and her assistant left the room, the darker-haired of the two practically running after the other to keep up.

"Otou-san, will you take him home with Shikamaru and wait till I get back, I need to talk to Hyuuga-san," an irritated voice came from my left as I looked to see Kuroda turning away from me.

There was a muttered "troublesome" from my right but by the time I looked there were only the entrails of smoke from a transportation jutsu.

"Well come one, I haven't got all day, I do have other missions to complete you know" my old sensei said putting away his ever present orange book.

I closed my eyes as I sat up, my joints still aching from when I attacked my room. He looked at me with a cynical eye as I stood before he performed the jutsu he used so long ago to take me to the Chuunin exam.

_ __ ___ __ _

_**Kuroda P.O.V.**_

"Hyuuga-san, do you have a minute, I need to have a word with you." I said looking at the man before me.

He nodded letting m lead the way out of the small room and into one of the smaller offices used for meetings between small groups of shinobi below the mission room.

"What is it you wish to discuss Kuroda-sama?" he asked standing until I took a seat before he too sat with me.

"Kuroda is fine Hyuuga-sama, or would you rather Neji-sama?" I brush off his formality and ask about him knowing that he seldom got the respect he deserved.

"Neji is fine, thank you."

I smiled at him before starting, "I need to know how much you have been told about Sasuke's return to Konoha and how much of it Shikamaru has told now that you have been given a level of clearance from the Hokage for helping out today."

"I only know what has been circulating around Konoha the past couple of days, Shika has not told me anything specific other that it doesn't feel like home any more." He stiffened before continuing, "do you really think that Shika would let slip any classified information to anyone other than those involved?"

"No, I have complete trust in him; I also know that he trusts you Neji. I am sure that he will tell you things that he will not tell me because of Sasuke's presence." I sighed and looked away from his milky eyes, "I worry about both of them, they can't keep skipping round each other and not talking to each other anymore, it will just cause more problems like today."

"What do you mean?" he asked visibly relaxed now he knew that I trusted Shikamaru.

"The tension between the two of them is too much and it has been growing. I need to know what their relationship is like and you are the only one who can truly find that out." I looked at him, "however before you can do that for me I need to understand your relationship with both of them before Sasuke left and your relationship with Shikamaru now."

He looked at me trying to decide what to say; "why do you need to know this?" he asked trying to judge for himself if he should answer my question.

"I need to know because I want to help them both, this information may help me to understand more about them because I haven't known them for that long," I paused and smirked before continuing, "and I assume that there is an interesting story behind a certain mark that Shikamaru had from you the first time I met him."

I watched in amusement as his eyes widened fractionally and a faint pink blush appeared on his cheeks, _so it was from Neji, though I could have guessed that from the way Shikamaru reacts to me mentioning him._

"Okay, but I would also like to know something." He said, understanding my reasoning and trying to move on from the previous topic.

I nodded, _I may as well hear the question, I don't have to answer it._

"Why did you call Kakashi-sama 'Otou'?

I faulted, _Shikamaru really didn't say anything at all, and even something he could say to anyone it will be around the village soon._

_ __ ___ __ _

_**U.S. P.O.V.**_

I closed my eyes as I rested my head back on the couch cushion; _even now Shika is avoiding me._

I opened my eyes slightly to watch Kakashi come into the room to sit in a chair and surprise surprise that orange book was out again.

It wasn't long before Ku-chan came back but she had the Hyuuga in tow, when she entered the room without him there was only one thing to assume, _he's here to see Shika._

"Do you want a drink you two?" Ku asked from the doorway

"No," I replied before adding a quick 'thank you.'

"No, thanks I will be off now I need to get a mission report it." Kakashi replied.

"How late is it?" Ku asked looking at him, "or how much trouble will you be in with Iruka?" she amended.

His visible eye arched as he stood to let himself out, "only about four or five days so no big trouble."

"Right…" she muttered before going to the kitchen.

"Sasuke." He nodded before leaving me alone.

_ __ ___ __ _

"Kuroda, I am off, do you mind me coming round again?" asked Neji as he stood in the doorway to the kitchen where we were sat playing Shogi.

"Not at all Neji, you will have to get clearance from Tsunade-sama to let yourself in though I can't give you that." She arched her eyes.

_No it isn't alright for you to come round,_ I shot a glare at the Hyuuga; _what has he been doing with Shika all this time?_

"Okay I will look into it," he looked at me, "Uchiha-san." He nodded before going towards the front door where there was a quiet goodbye from Shika.

Shika came into the kitchen after closing the door.

"Hungry?" Kuroda asked after putting her piece down.

"No, Sasuke can I have a word?" he asked.

I looked to Ku who shrugged, "we can finish the game later."

I followed Shika outside wondering what it was he wanted to talk about, _I wonder if this has been brought on by Neji talking to him._

"I need to know something Sasuke," he started with his back towards me, "because I don't understand what happened to us."

He turned to look at me, his eyes dark and his wall still in place not allowing me to understand him.

"What made you break the promise Sasuke?" I lowered my eyes from his, "what was it that made you forget me?"

"I never forgot you Shika!" I snapped making him take a step away from me, "why don't you understand that I can't tell you why yet because only the Hokage is to know what happened."

"Oh so only the Hokage is allowed to know about your boyfriend." He responded hurt obvious in his voice.

"I don't have a boyfriend other than you Shika but I am assuming that relationship was over the night I left." I shouted unsure where the words were coming from.

"Don't be silly Sasuke; do you not remember that I witnessed your make-out session with him in the forest?"

"He is not my boyfriend!"

"Sorry I am not going to believe that!" his was uncharacteristically loud; "I kept my promise right until after that day when I realised I didn't mean anything to you anymore."

"What?" I asked quietly, so unsure of what to say.

"I promised that I would wait for you, you promised you would come back but I guess you didn't mean back to me."

I stared at him in shock, "I have come back to you Shika, but you have moved on now I can see it." _It's that Hyuuga!_

"No you didn't, you moved on before I did Sasuke, you left me behind the night you left Konoha." He moved passed me towards the house, "I was only your back up plan wasn't I Uchiha."

I watched him enter the house before I collapsed on the ground, _was is really worth following orders for this?_


	16. I did

**Okay so some ShikaNeji for you now, this is especially dedicated to dimonyo-anghel, andromeda90 and SeptemberStorm for the reviews early on in this fic.**

**I have very little inspiration to keep writing this other than I just want to finish it so sorry if this chapter is not very good or in fact the last few ether, sorry inspiration appreciated…**

**Read 'keeping the story simple' for more info.**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**N.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**I did**

I pushed the back door closed harder than I meant to as I entered the kitchen again making Ku-chan jump slightly as she poured herself a drink.

"I just hope that you guys figure things our soon," Ku muttered as I passed her on the way to my room, _it feels like I am nearly able to walk away from my past now by leaving him like that_, I mused taking to notice of her words.

I closed my bedroom door behind me, closing my eyes as I lay face down on my bed.

_It isn't like I didn't wait for him, I only truly moved on a couple of months after seeing him and even then I couldn't help but feel like I was betraying him. _

I sighed and rolled on my back; _he didn't even apologise, Neji is right, the past is the past but I still don't want to let it go…I know in my heart that he has moved on even now he is just using me and I want to move on…_

I stared at the ceiling thinking about what Neji had told me today and when I had moved on from waiting for Sasuke to return to me.

_ ___ __FB__ ___ _

I slowly stood from my position behind the board and make my way over to the cream sofa on the opposite side of the room and sat down before he took the unspoken invitation to join me.

I sighed as I sat down on the sofa, _man this is troublesome but I can't put off talking to him anymore when he keeps trying. _

I looked at his milky eyes as he sat the old seat giving a small squeak as he did so.

"Shika?" he asked, concern etched on his usually impassive face.

"Neji I don't know anymore. My mind wont supply the answers for me now, but worst of all I don't understand why you feel it is your responsibility to help me."

His eyes softened as he looked at me, he turned and sat crossed legged on the sofa his back against its arm.

"Shika do you want me to explain?" he asked knowing that not knowing was frustrating for me, I nodded looking at him.

"When we were younger I thought it was the power of a person that I looked for in someone I thought would be a good friend or even a _'significant other' _and so I looked at the Uchiha." He paused and looked away from me.

"I was sure that it was the power and the kekai genkai he possessed that drew me to him," he continued, "it took me some time to realised that he had two shadows and that every time I sought him out you were there to." He slowly reached out with his delicate fingers for my hand closest to him and held it in both of his; my eyes watching and seeing the difference between our hands.

"It hurts me to know that it was only after he left that I realised what I was truly looking for. After he left I still sought him out with my eyes but this time I saw the shadow."

I looked at him, my mind failing to connect the dots in its current state.

"I realised after all this time that it wasn't his power that I was attracted to but rather it was the loyalty and companionship of his shadow. Shika I know now that it was you I was looking for and it took Uchiha leaving for me to understand this."

I took my hand back from his but I kept looking at him refusing to tear my eyes away.

"I wish I had worked it out sooner," he said looking at his hands as he folded them in his lap, "but at the same time I know you were happy and that I should have tried harder to make sure that he never left. I'm sorry Shika for taking so long but I know it was always and will always be you."

He looked at me a faint pink tinge on his pale cheeks, "it isn't my responsibility Shika; I want to be there for you like I should have been and like you were after the first failed mission."

My breath hitched slightly at hearing the caring and loving words come from the Hyuuga, "Neji…" my words were stopped as his left index finger came to my lips and he made a shushing sound as he leaned towards me, his right hand picking up my own left hand.

His half lidded eyes looked at our clasped hands his finger staying on my lips still silencing me, "Shika please let me be there for you." He whispered.

I used my free hand to tilt his head up so that he was looking at me and then I used it to remove his finger from my lips.

I leaned towards him lacing my own fingers with his, _I can't deny his love and I know that I feel something for him_. I closed my eyes as our lips touched tentatively until he leaned into it more.

He let me control the kiss as he moved into my lap. _He doesn't want to scare me off_.

Our tongues slowly touched and danced for a moment before he drew back allowing for the intake of oxygen. He leaned in again trailing kisses down my jaw and neck; as he took control I revelled in the moment of being loved…


	17. what he did

**Sorry for the long wait, I hope to update again soon but it will probably be another long wait, I have no inspiration left at the moment, **

**Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**U.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**What he did.**

"Hyuuga" I growled throwing a punch at the nearby tree.

_Damn it, I knew he always watched me but I didn't think that he would follow Shika when I left, I thought he wanted power not companionship. _

I hit the tree repeatedly, imagining the Hyuuga's face was the target, my un-wrapped fists gathering splinters with every blow to the thick trunk.

_I need to get out of here; maybe I will go missing-nin for real this time._

I rested my forehead against the rough bark as the sun began to set before pushing off the tree and kicking it before heading towards the house my eyes locked on the ground for the fear of doing something stupid if I saw another inanimate object.

"Sasuke-san,"

I stopped in my tracks at the voice and lifted my head to see an orange glow from the door and the shadow of a person standing in the doorframe.

"What is going on?" she asked as she took a few steps into the garden so I could see her face clearly, well as clearly as her mask allows.

"I know what the Hyuuga wants," I spat out his name, "he wants what's mine!" I snapped.

She bristled and anger radiated from her, "Shikamaru does not belong to anyone Sasuke-san, it is about time that you learnt this." She replied trying to keep her voice at a reasonable level, "we are shinobi, we are not meant to have these feelings of _love_ and _companionship_ and it is only a lucky few that get a chance to express them with the one special to them." She sighed looking up at the stars, her eyes glossed over with un-shed tears.

"You need to start respecting the fact that this is your life, you are a shinobi of the village hidden in the leaves and you now need to start thinking like one." She looked at me, "what happened to the genius Uchiha?"

She turned and entered the house again, leaving the door wide open with the light streaming out into the dark garden.

I ignored the invitation to go inside and jumped onto the roof of the house and sat above Shika's room and listened to him mumble.

"Neji, why am I your responsibility?" he sighed, "you said that I was the one and you proved that you loved me but I still feel like a burden to you and yet I want you to be here…with me."

I snarled and ran over the roof top, not caring if I made any sounds, towards the front of the house and landed on the garden path leading away from the house.

_Baka, he has moved on, there is no need for me here now._

I looked at the edge of the house boundaries where I knew there was a containment jutsu in place, one that I recognised as the one that I used last time I was in the village.

_I forgot that Kakashi knew, he needed to as my team leader I guess…that and his Sharingan will have helped him get through. _

I ran through the familiar hand seals, _inu tori saru ne mi u ne tatsu inu ne mi i uma saru tori_,I had used the same seal on the Uchiha compound to keep unwanted visitors out of the area that I occupied, I couldn't care less if they searched everywhere else in the compound.

_I bet Kakashi thought I wouldn't be able to recognise my own jutsu surrounding the building because he thinks I am to paranoid that it is too similar to try and get out. 'Underneath the underneath' and all that._

I pushed my hand against the invisible barrier only to be flung back into the brickwork of the house.

I slumped on the ground coughing up some blood from the impact; I grimaced at the metallic taste in my mouth as I spat out the offending blood.

"You didn't really think that would work did you Sasuke-kun?" I heard as my former sensei stepped through the barrier his eye arched in amusement.

"Although I do wish to know why you want to suddenly leave your confinement so close to the end of your stay." He said slipping his ever present orange book into one of his various weapons pouches.

"Why is it so similar?" I asked not looking at him and instead focusing my attention on the grass at my feet.

"Why change a good thing? But there was a small change as you have seen just in case you decided to try and do that."

I scowled and looked at him, "I think that it is time for me to get out of here before I kill someone, don't you think? What would you do if Kuroda-sama was the next one to be killed by an Uchiha?"

"You wouldn't, I know that and you wouldn't be around much longer if you did." He paused and looked up as the front door of the house opened, "Do you really think that that is the way to impress Shikamaru-kun?"

"Ka…Otousan?" her voice held an element of surprise and from the start of her response I could tell that she was slipping.

"Musume-chan." He replied keeping up the act as Shikamaru was still around. "Would you mind getting Sasuke-kun something to drink and possibly a med kit, he was just flung into the house." He arched his eye in amusement.

She looked over to me, "Sasuke-san please don't tell me you tried to get out?" she asked, a hint of amusement laced in her voice.

I ignored her question and stood using the wall as my support. "I don't need anything; I am going to my room."

Kakashi stood and watched me go through the door before muttering to his 'daughter' "Just keep an eye on him, I don't think it is necessary to report this especially as it is so close to the end of his stay" before his chakra disappeared.

_I don't need them, there must only be a week or so left for me to stay here and then I can get out of their lives. _

I continued to my room and lay down on my bed, not bothering to take my clothes off. My back hurt as did my fists but they didn't hurt as much as knowing that Shika no longer wanted me around, he no longer wants me to be with him.

_I can't believe what he did, but I suppose it is just the same as what he thinks I have done to him. _


	18. The truth

**Just a small update, I know it is taking a long time and I am sorry, I know where this is headed almost now but please still vote on my poll, thank you for reading K.M.**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**N.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**The truth**

I listened as Sasuke came up the stairs and the front door was shut.

_Maybe I did jump down his throat a bit before; I don't know what came over me I guess all this time locked up with him so close that I just snapped and with everything building up before I hurt him too much…_

_ __ ____ __ _

I sat in the old tree as the sun rose, a ball of golden fur in my lap and a fragment of bark in between my fingers. The marks on the tree were unmistakable even in the dark at not gone two in the morning. The wounds still as fresh on the wood as the ones I imagined on his delicate hands.

I heard the backdoor open before I saw the light come through the leaves.

"Shikamaru? Why are you up there?" I heard Ku-chan say and the golden bundle unravelled itself and stretched at the sound of her voice, "it's not even five yet!"

I yawned and let the young fox onto my shoulders before jumping from the branches. I shuffled towards the house with the fox bounding ahead into awaiting arms.

"Hey kit!" she smiled at her summon, "I have a mission in a couple of hours and was going to make an early breakfast for you but seems how you're up…"

"Oh no, I am not going anywhere near that kitchen until after twelve." I responded stepping away from her.

She giggled and put the fox down, "fine then, just don't make too much mess while I am gone I don't know how long I am going to be." She turned back into the house and I followed a couple of feet behind her.

She smiled as she started getting ingredients out, "So if you want to get out of the house for a while then take the chance now to clear your head, you have until half seven to get back here." She looked at me, "there will be food for you when you get back."

I smiled at her and headed towards the front door. _Thank you, I need to set my head straight if I am going to spend time with him. _

I wandered into the market and up towards the academy training grounds, I felt at home resting in one of the many trees surrounding the academy buildings having been a supply teacher if any of the Chuunin had been sent on a mission.

I relaxed against the bark and watched as the clouds above turned from a pale pink to white as the sun continued to rise. People would begin to arrive and move about soon to get ready for anther day in the village.

I closed my eyes as the suns early rays began to penetrate the leaves and branches and hit my face.

_It's nice to be out where I can just think and not worry about what is going to happen when he wakes up. _

I sighed and opened my eyes slightly to watch some of the teachers arrive to set up for the day.

_I need to really talk to him; every time I try we end up fighting. I know he is upset, _I smirked upset probably wasn't the right word to use, _he doesn't like Neji, he doesn't want him around me but what can I do? He left me its not like I didn't try, but I guess I should explain the situation to him as he should know so he doesn't blow things out of proportion…the last thing we need is for him to go and kill any Hyuuga or even go from the village again, his house arrest is nearly up and he will be free soon. _

The shinobi parents had started to arrive to drop off their pre-genin and I knew it was time to leave. _Hmm six forty-five. _

I slowly paced back home and saw Kakashi was already on watch by the time I got there.

"Shika-kun." He greeted from his position in the trees.

"Kakashi."

I passed through the barrier and up to the house as Kuroda opened the door.

"Shikamaru, the food is out on the kitchen table, Sasuke is still upstairs. I need to get going, see you later." She rushed and picked up a plate of food, _for Kakashi no doubt_, and almost ran out of the door.

_That's not like her, what's going on? She isn't late and she doesn't like to rush things…_

I pondered as I closed the door and headed towards the smell of food.

"Sasuke?" I asked shocked at seeing him sat eating, although it came out in by ever bored tone of voice, "I thought you were upstairs."

"She isn't very observant when she is rushing about." He replied not looking at me.

I looked at him before sitting across from him, _I guess it is now or never…_

"Sasuke, we need to talk," he looked at me, "without arguing," I added.

He nodded still eating the remains of his meal.

"I saw you and him, I forgive you if that is what you want then so be it. I know that Neji has been annoying you but he was here for me. Time changes the situation but I still don't really understand what is going on and I don't think you do either."


	19. hurts

**I am so sorry to all you who are reading this fic...there are four more chapters after this one and I hope to have them up as soon as possible for you. I have already started to write the next one, sorry again to anyone following this fic...I can't believe it is almost a year since i last updated...the Christmas fic will be finished this Christmas...**

**Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think – Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**U.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

ff

**Hurts.**

Gone.

He's gone again, any chance for him to get out of the house and away from me.

I was awake as soon as he had stumbled outside to sit in the oak tree, listening out for anything that he might mumble but all thoughts were kept in his head much to my annoyance. However I stayed still keeping my breathing deep and even just in case he decided to check on me.

It had then Ku's turn to get up and start her day like clockwork to get food ready for us and just try and live with the tension in the air whenever Shika and I were in the same room. She had sent him away and she was leaving on a mission.

As soon as Shika's presence couldn't be felt within the confines of the house arrest there was a soft knocking on my door, I replied with a grunt and my messenger walked into the room.

She bowed slightly in my direction, "Uchiha-sama." She said carefully avoiding looking at me in a respect that I thought I deserved when I first met her but no longer felt I was worthy of and it should be I averting my gaze from her.

"Please stop that Hatake-sama," I reply watching her visibly flinch at the name, "it is no longer necessary we are friends even if this is still your mission." I say standing from my bed and inclining my head towards her.

"Uchiha-san, our friendship should not interfere with the mission, and you know I refuse to take that name until I have had time to understand what it carries and can take it without feeling my mother's disappointment." She stated looking at me.

I follow her as she goes back out of my room and down to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast. She works quietly and efficiently preparing all the ingredients that she needs before starting to talk again.

"As you heard I am going on a mission in a couple of hours and so Keiji will be back with your note." Her voice calm as she started mixing the vegetables into the rice and boiling water.

"Is it necessary to bring him here, why can't you stay as you are?" I ask knowing that Shikamaru is most likely to be here when she comes back and a confrontation between the two would most likely allow Shika to work out who _he_ was.

"Yes it is and it is a way for you to explain to him what your relationship with Kei is," she said still refusing to acknowledge that it is in fact her that portrays her brother. "If you are able to explain and show him that your relationship is there for only mission purposes then maybe you have a chance at him letting you back into his heart."

I look at her, _what is she thinking? There must be a plan there somewhere...i mean I know that she is cleaver but no where near as good as Shika and if he figures anything out then there is going to be problems in the future._

"Don't worry about it Uchiha-san although you will have a tough job on your end. You need to convince him to become you so that he is the one the message is delivered to while his presence will still be in the house so Keiji will have no choice in the delivery method." She turned and smiled at me eating her own breakfast before getting ready to make some for Shika and me. "You also need to make sure that kit stays outside as she doesn't know Keiji and how to act around him, she may cause some problems."

I stare at her, _I'm not letting her do this, it will strain their relationship just over me and I cant take a friend away from Shika when I have already hurt him too much._

Before I get to voice my opinion she starts talking again, "then you will no longer be under house arrest, you can make your friendship with Naruto-kun stronger, start training with your old team and get to know your comrades again." She smiled with her eyes, _defiantly a Hatake thing..._, "it is all over Sasuke-san, you can start to live how you want again and glare at anyone in your way, re-build your clan and be the shinobi you were born to be."

"I can't let you do this, you will hurt Shikamaru more when he finds out and then he won't trust you anymore, I won't let him loose another friend because of me."

She turned to completely face me a sad smile in her eyes, "If it is a chance to patch up the relationship between the two of you that I messed up then it is a risk I will take."

"you know that's the first time you have admitted to taking responsibility for your brother other than in the Hokage's office," I say softly as her eyes drop and she turns to plate up the food onto three plates, "it's good you know, you need to be able to be yourself in this village."

She hands me a plate and puts the other on the table opposite before taking her hidden leaf hitai-ate and handed it to me.

"Don't worry about it, Tsunade cleared him last night and you need to talk to him before the house arrest is up. I won't be back after your message is delivered for a day or two so just keep kit fed."

She then picked the other plate up and went and placed it by the front door before going up the stairs to get what she needed for the mission.

I heard her come back down the stairs as I started to eat and open the door, "Shikamaru, the food is out on the kitchen table, Sasuke is still upstairs. I need to get going, see you later." I stiffened slightly but kept eating until the door was closed.

"Sasuke?" I stirred at his voice but I kept eating, "I thought you were upstairs."

"She isn't very observant when she is rushing about." I replied not looking at him deliberately trying to compose myself for this conversation.

He sat opposite me taking the plate in front of him.

"Sasuke, we need to talk," I look up at his tone of voice, "without arguing," I smiled lightly at that, _he wants to seriously talk_.

I nodded still eating the remains of my food before saying anything though I almost chocked at his next words.

"I saw you and him, I forgive you if that is what you want then so be it. I know that Neji has been annoying you but he was here for me. Time changes the situation but I still don't really understand what is going on and I don't think you do either."

I see the sadness in his eyes before pushing my plate away from myself, "your right I don't know what is happening anymore, but I do know that you deserve to hear everything." I said carefully avoiding the topic of the Hyuuga.

He looked away before slowly picking at his food, his posture tense and readying himself for heartbreak.

"I know it hurts Shika but please let me show you what is happening..." I sigh; _I hope her plan works..._


	20. Fact

**Again sorry but I really want to finish this fic so thank you for reading, please vote on the poll**

**Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**N.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**Fact.**

_I can't believe I am going to do this..._

It had taken him a while to explain his plan, _how he knows he is going to get a message I don't know..._, he wanted to explain and this was supposed to be the most effective way of doing that.

I looked at myself in the mirror, I was currently wearing his clothing although I had yet to take his appearance as it would be a drain on my chakra and would only need to be done before the message was to be delivered.

I looked up as he entered his room, "how is the messenger going to get through the barrier?" I asked turning away from the mirror, "only four people know how to get in because they are who Tsunade-sama chose to tell."

He sent a small smirk my way, "my messenger has a long history of getting what they want when they need it."

He still didn't give me any hints on who this messenger is, _well it won't be too long until I find out I suppose..._

With the sun starting to set and the departure of Kakashi from outside for the day I changed my appearance into that of Sasuke, _I wonder what would happen if Kakashi was still here when the messenger turned up._

Now that I was the part I would be able to try and work out what was going on, I had tried to get Sasuke to explain just by him telling me, he didn't say much other than letting me know that no matter how he said it there would only be more hurt and confusion.

I watched from my window as Sasuke playing with the little gold fox outside training it to pounce on objects and how to move about in the trees.

I moved to sit and wait downstairs, my fingertips touching as I thought I was stirred from my thoughts as Sasuke spoke.

"That isn't something you would see me doing, the messenger should be here soon, meditation would be a better way for them to find me." He said looking at me, "I'll just be behind the door, don't panic."

I closed my eyes and crossed my legs under the pretence of meditation while I was still thinking of what was going to happen, _this could be a trap, but in my own home no one would be able to do that especially if they have to be told how to get in by someone I trust. Then again...but Sasuke said that he trusted the messenger and that nothing would happen, if the messenger got into the village then they must be friendly..._

My thoughts were interrupted at the sound of the front door opening and closing, I turned and looked at the doorway. I froze.

There in the doorway was the man that Sasuke claimed was not his boyfriend, he looked slightly nervous but I could only see his eyes.

I stood stiffly to greet him; he walked towards me ignoring Sasuke's presence in the corner of the room. He leaned forwards to me and whispered in my ear as I stiffened further trying not to flinch away and break my disguise. Sasuke had told me that the messenger would know he, Shikamaru, was in the house but wouldn't be able to say where was.

"Gomen Uchiha-sama but he is here, but this will be that last time I hurt you. Please relax a little." He said bringing me out of my shock, _that isn't how you would greet a boyfriend no matter how influential they are_.

"Sasuke-kun" _ah there it is,_ his voice was louder this time, "I'm glad I found you." He smiled before reaching up to remove the mast covering the lower half of his face.

There was a look of confusion on his face once it was removed and I stood still unsure what he was going to do before he placed and hand on my cheek and leaned in to kiss me.

There was a flash of contained rage from the corner of the room that reminded me that I wasn't alone but shocked me enough to let the messengers tongue into my mouth. As shocked as I was that the appendage had entered it was nothing like the time I had kissed Neji and it was gone again in a matter of moment after something was deposited at the back of my mouth.

"Are you alright Sasuke-kun?" he asked pulling up his mask, concern in his grey, pupil-less, eyes.

I fought to get a reply out, "hn." I grunted out trying to sound as much like Sasuke as possible.

"I hope so," he smiled and looked at the door, "I'm sorry about that but maybe you can explain to him now," he said addressing me again, "this will be the last time you see me."

"What?" I say keeping the words monosyllabic trying my best to keep it sounding like the Sasuke.

"The mission is over, just try and get him to understand." His voice was still quiet.

"He won't." I say knowing that he needed this man to explain and this was the only way.

"Why don't you think that he will understand?" he looks slightly confused, "If he loves you then he will and if he can't grasp the idea he will wait for the consent from the Hokage for you to tell him. It was not about love with me I know that you know that and if he is not willing to accept this then he isn't as smart as you give him credit for."

He turned to walk away towards the door opening it to reveal Sasuke, "We were a team, nothing more and nothing less, it is all part of being a shinobi, the way that we act on missions. I still don't understand how he has not put all the pieces together yet because to be honest we have left them all out for him. There is no point hiding any more Uchiha-san."

There was a silence where Sasuke smirked lightly and then the messenger turned again to me, "Nara-san, maybe now you will finish the jigsaw."

I snapped out of my illusion and addressed the man, "how did you know?" I said slightly surprised.

"I knew because this is the way it is meant to be, I know that I have hurt both of you and for that I am sorry." He scratched the back of his neck, "I also knew that it hurt Uchiha-san every day that he wasn't in his home with the man he loved but a job is a job and you didn't need to know. It is a shame it worked out this way but now there is a freedom for you to start again."

He bowed and turned away and towards the front door before his signature couldn't be felt anymore.

I looked at Sasuke, my brain frantically trying to come up with an explanation for what had just happened.

"Take it out and open it, then I will talk I promise." Was all he said before I removed what was placed in my mouth before.

I removed the small object, to my surprise it was a scroll, I sent my chakra through the object and it grew and opened.

'**For the attention of: **Uchiha Sasuke

This is it, you are no longer under house arrest and you are free to start training again and taking up missions. You also have the clearance to inform Nara Shikamaru of anything and everything that you have done on this mission so long as it is clear not all of the information can be spoken about again regarding the intel you have gained.

Thank you for your hard work shinobi but now it is time for the facts.

Godaime Hokage'


	21. Life goes on

Two more after this one, I hope to have it done by the end of August/beginning of September, I hope you enjoy it what with the result of the poll,

**Big thanks to ****TheBlackLeatherShoes for the review, sorry it took longer than I thought to get it out...there was a lot of editing to do...**

**Please vote on my poll, I have more ideas for images than fics for Naruto at the moment but would like to write something else too =D**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**U.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**Life goes on**

Well the meeting with Keiji had gone better than I thought it might, he, she had said enough so that Shika would listen to me but not enough that I would get away with not saying anything however _troublesome woman,_ I smirk.

"I don't want to know everything that you gathered, too troublesome." He said handing the scroll over to me.

I quickly read the message before smiling and burning the scroll as protocol called for. I nodded and headed towards the sofa to sit next to him.

"No doubt you have questions and as you now know I am allowed to answer so please Shika let me explain."

I watched as the range of expressions pass on his face, _he still doesn't know if he can trust me..._

"What if I could show you?" I ask in the hopes that he would say no to that suggestion, the realm of the sharingan is not somewhere I want to share with the man I love...

He looks at me for what feels like the first time since I left Konoha on the Hokage's orders, it is the first time he is willing to see me for who I am and ready to listen without his defences in place even if it were to break him in any way.

He shakes his head; I breathe a sigh of relief on the inside before he speaks.

"That is not necessary," he sighs and slouches forwards in his seat, "all my questions were about him...but now I can see that yet again there were gaps in my knowledge only allowing me to make one conclusion."

"You weren't to know, no one was to know really." He slumps slightly more, "that is why we are trained in what we do, you along with two others, him and myself are the only ones who knew of our true relationship." I say trying to reassure him that it was not something that he should have been able to work out.

He nods and looks at me, "Tsunade-sama is one of the two or that note would not have been delivered tonight, who was the other?"

"Orochimaru-sensei." I reply without thinking and he flinches at the name and the title I gave him, "sorry, but when I was sent away that is what he became to me no matter what he did..."

He surveys me with those doe like brow eyes and nods slightly, "I suppose that answers my other question, that mission and why you were sent it all fits into place." He said with a distant look now apparent in his eyes, "the length of the mission long enough to not bring suspicion that it was just a mission while taking you away longer that was truly needed because as soon as he was dead you were no longer needed out there..." he paused as I sat in awe of how quickly he could place things into a timeline and work on it.

He had always impressed me when we were younger but in the years apart he has changed and become a better strategist than I have become a warrior that was evident.

"That is," he continued now looking me in the eye, "unless you had to also get rid of those that would follow you or were trying to track you because they needed a new leader or were trying to take revenge. That would account for the extra time ...but then you must have been implementing that plan when we met..."he looked away and I knew what was coming next, "...why you didn't ask for Konoha's help then, you would have been back sooner."

I pause waiting for him to look at me again so that I knew he was seeing the truth, "I couldn't because that was the day I got the message that it was the end of my mission and also there would have been little chance of you believing me as I have only just got the clearance to tell you this now."

He closes his eyes and slots the new information into his mental map, "then you didn't know that the messenger was going to be there, nor did you want there to be a confrontation between my team and this messenger." He said standing up and walking towards the window.

"No, I knew he was going to arrive but your timing didn't help matters." I said watching him looking at the pink clouds, "I never wanted you to witness that, however it was our shared mission and so it had to be carried out for if my former team members had found out that our partnership had cracked with 'enemy-nin' around they would have questioned me."

He is still looking out of the window when the young kitsune enters the room and takes to him a letter. He pets the gold fur before it disappears leaving the entrails of the release jutsu.

We were both shocked that little bundle of fur had never left the house never mind needed to have its summoning jutsu released.

He stares at the letter on the windowsill for a moment before picking it up and tipping out a key before unfolding the letter inside.

Although is bored expression remains in place on his face his eyes become frantic before he clearly states, "It seems as though it is my turn to share with you a letter meant for only my eyes." Before turning to face me fully, "my trust in you is something that will have to be regained Sasuke," he sighed walking over to me and placing the letter in my hand, "but right now we need to talk again, yet this time we will wait for when we are ready and not on Hokage's orders."

He walks out of the room heading upstairs quickly and letting me read the note in my hand.

'Shika,

I am sorry that it was so hard for you over his house arrest but please forgive me if I made it any harder.

The key is for Sasuke if you wish for him to remain with you, other than that I do not mind what you do with this property for I give it to you, sell it if you wish.

I am sorry I can't do this in person but no longer is my mission with you active and I now must return to my duty.

Thank you for taking care of me,

Hatake Kuroda.'


	22. no matter what,

**Again sorry but I really want to finish this fic so thank you for reading, the last chapter will be up momentarily...depending on the speed of fanfiction.**

**I would also like to thank ****sesshy's numba1 gurl as if not for the review I would have continued to believe I had uploaded the last chapters...**

**Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**N.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**No matter what**

Shutting my door louder that it needed to be, shaking the walls of the house a little, before crashing on my bed.

_It's over_, all that repeated in my head, no more lies, no more excuses for not talking to him and no more time to plan an escape.

My heart was still hammering after the intake of information from the messenger, the gaps filled by Sasuke and a whole new picture that I never saw coming from Kuroda. _Maybe I did see it coming but I just didn't want to believe that after all that she did trying to prove to me it wasn't set up that it was._

There was so much to do now that Sasuke was free, integrating him back into village life for one and getting to know the new Sasuke like I knew the old one.

-5 years later-

It had become unusual to see me without my boyfriend, the last Uchiha, walking around the village. Many people still frowned upon our relationship, either because they don't support gay couples or they believe that their child would be better suited to being in a relationship with one of us.

I smiled at the passing crowd as I tried to catch up with Sasuke, _damn Tsunade for keeping me late and missing him leave the academy._

I could sense that his chakra had recently passed this place, _shit...why now...uurgh..._

I stopped to allow for the appearance of my fellow shinobi.

"Shikamaru-kun," greeted me as I spun round slowly to see an eye smile from the infamous Hatake.

I nod in response as the grey eye opened to look at me, _the smile from before is missing_.

"Any news?" I asked tentatively, _I hope it isn't bad news_.

"No, I still haven't been able to track her." Kakashi sighed.

Kuroda had left the village entirely two years previously and had yet to be found. The random letters that we all received was the only indication that she was still alive and it was worrying. We had once found one of her kitsune but as it couldn't talk there was no way of getting any information out of it until Kakashi felt its chakra waver and immediately rushed to try and trace where the summoning had occurred to find his 'daughter'.

She had come back after leaving Sasuke in our home for a week to 'see how you were getting on' but not like the constant she had been during the house arrest.

_I know she is his sister but he truly does care about her like a daughter._ I muse as I watch my sempi. He had pushed himself when trying to locate her but the Hokage had just pulled him from the mission of trying to locate her and written the mission off as a failure, one of only a few to Kakashi's name, because they could no longer have him working on the case.

I sigh, _yet more bad news to tell Sasuke, not only am I going on a three week mission but she still hasn't been found, it looks like she doesn't want to be found._

"Thanks for letting me know." I say, _he can't keep looking for her anymore, he has too much he needs to do now..._

I was left with a swirling bunch of leaves, I walked back home at a slower pace than before.

I know that Sasuke is going to be upset, he has yet to find anyone else that he knows _She _will respond to. I know that there is someone out there that can get to her


	23. it goes on

**Continuing with the time line from the last chapter.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Kuroda**

**Text in **_italic_ **is thoughts (save for a few accented words.)**

**U.S. P.O.V.**

* * *

**It goes on. **

It had taken a long time to win him over but it was worth every second that I was with him.

I wish every day that I can get rid of the past we didn't share, that when we fought it was the worst moment of my life and to leave him there for his team mates to find taw me apart. I never wanted to leave him but my job always came first when I was younger but now...now he is my priority. No longer do I take missions unless my eyes are truly needed, I work at the academy and shuffle papers for the Hokage. I do miss the action but maybe one day I will have my own genin team.

He hurt me too along the way, he always apologises but I know what he did is nothing in comparison to what I did to him. He had no idea if I was ever going to come back; at least I knew he was safe in the village. I know our relationship has changed from when we were young; I knew it would as soon as I stepped out of the village gates that it would never be the same again. I never thought I would be able to enter the village again and have him open up his heart to me after what he had to go through. I may be the last Uchiha but I couldn't care less now that I am back with him until the day he sees that I am not worthy of being with him.

It had taken a long time to truly get talking again, it was like we were trying to get to know each other for the first time yet we knew of my past and the strain it caused was hard to grin and bear. It nearly crushed him, I could see it although it never showed on the surface. _Her_ leaving us when we needed her there the most nearly left us in a shattered mess that was never to be cleared up again. We struggled through and ended up where we are now, baggage and all.

Here with him now is where I want to stay forever but I won't stop him when he decides to move on from the relationship that has been picked up from his childhood. I won't ever stop him again I have caused enough damage in his life and I can't let myself think of taking away any more of him time. He always tells me that this is what he wants and he never wants me to leave again but I know that I am no longer the only person in his heart, for whatever reason he holds, other than his family there are all his, our, friends but also the support that the Hyuuga gave him is something that I should have been able to prevent but alas it is just shooting myself in the foot. I pushed him to the Hyuuga while I wasn't here to stop it from happening.

I wander back into our house, it was still the same building with a little re-modelling done to the interior along with the decoration that I completed while not taking missions for the first few months I was integrating back into the village.

I still got sour looks from the civilians and many chuunin and even some jounin steer clear of me, I probably would to if I were them.

I know Shika isn't in immediately and find a quick note on the table, 'Sasu, I'll be back later S.'

Not knowing when 'later' was I set about making food that if necessary I could put away for him to eat cold when he got back.

-General P.O.V.-

Dusk had just fallen over the hidden leaf village, a quick swap of shinobi at the village gates had occurred relieving the day-time watch of their duty while the night staff settled in with a pack of cards and a shogi board.

Shikamaru wandered slowly back through the gates with his team mates, it had not been a mission as such but Ino had decided that she wanted to go shopping somewhere other than Konoha so the closest village had been their destination.

Choji, now laden with all of Ino's shopping bags and supporting most of Ino's weight as she walked back sufficiently tired from a day of shopping, nodded to the two nin at the desk as they entered the village before saying a quick goodbye to Shikamaru and taking his girlfriend home.

Shikamaru had a small bag, new hair ties curtsey of Ino, and a smile on his face glad that his two best friends were happy and that he too had found a sense of happiness. His smile reached his eyes when he started thinking about his boyfriend at home. He knew that Sasuke was still troubled by his past and believing that he was not good enough for Shikamaru but Shika was going to prove him wrong.

The brunet continued walking towards his home, fingers in his pockets fumbling with the small box. It may only be small but it was the way with them. The smallest gestures often were the biggest and had the most effect, even now after five years of being together again Sasuke's smile still got Shikamaru's heart fluttering.

Konoha's strategist had a plan, ignoring the looks from fellow nin as he started to walk faster with a smile on his face, he would prove that this time they could move on together.

_Chasing the memories away from him. He has no idea what he is doing by fighting. To hurt my heart is unforgivable but it has happened, I can't take it back. It will never go back to the way it was, but I can try because I did what he did. The truth hurts. Fact. Life goes on no matter what, it goes on. _


End file.
